School bus flatulence

Once again if these kids wore a Flatulence Deodorizer by Flat-d.com they would not have been suspended. We have school districts buying our pads for disruptive kids in their schools.

Seth Abramovitch —Who of us hasn't, at one time or other in our wild and misspent youths, let one rip, mightily and strong, for the comic benefit of our peers? It's practically a rite of passage! Well, two such mischievous scamps, seventh graders from Ohio, have been suspended by their school for doing just that. Farting on their school bus.

To be fair, it wasn't their first infraction. They'd been warned a few weeks back by the driver after a similar display of synchronized farting. This time around, the gas-passing was so spirited, it "caused a ruckus on the bus amid a flurry of laughs, jeers and lowering of windows." The driver reported them to the principal, who decided to suspend them.

"He suggested my son should hold his gas on this hourlong bus ride, if in fact he has gas," one of the boys' fathers told the Columbus Dispatch. "When it happens, it just happens. It's not intentional."

The boy's mother, meanwhile, was similarly sympathetic, being a chronic sufferer of the involuntary toots herself.

"As a sufferer of gastro-intestinal issues who was recently hospitalized for these issues, I take great offense to passing gas being cause for suspension and marked as an obscene gesture," [she] wrote to The Dispatch.

Whatever triumph that boy might have felt in the school bus that day, it will come nowhere close to the shame he's about to carry around with him for the rest of his life, knowing his mother had to craft that "farting runs in the family" excuse note for him and send it to the local paper.

Airplane Flatulence

Kristen Bell was remarkably forthcoming about her airplane-induced gassiness on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson last night. We get a lot of rush orders from people who are about to travel by airplane, bus, train,or ship. They do not want to be embarrassed by their gassy emissions or farting odors.

Try a Flatulence Deodorizer before your next vacation or business trip, www.flat-d.com